Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts
A Gathering for Grief, Remembrance, and Hope
The holidays are supposed to be filled with joy.
But after someone you love has died, the season can feel entirely different.
Traditions carry new weight. Celebrations can feel complicated. Moments of joy may exist right alongside longing, and the pressure to make Christmas feel “normal” can leave grieving people wondering where their sorrow belongs.
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts is a Storybrook holiday grief gathering created for churches to offer a meaningful place for people who are facing Thanksgiving and Christmas after loss.
Led by Michelle, the gathering offers practical help for navigating the season, meaningful ways to remember the person who is missing, and a gentle reminder that the hope of Christmas is still present even when the holidays hurt.
No one should have to choose between grieving and celebrating.
There can be room for both.
When the Season Feels Different
The first holiday after a death can be especially difficult. But sometimes it is the second, or the fifth, or the Christmas when everyone assumes you should be doing better.
Grief does not follow the calendar.
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts was created for the person who wants to participate in the season but does not quite know how to carry the absence with them.
For the person wondering what to do with old traditions.
For the family trying to decide whether Christmas should look the same this year.
For the person who feels guilty for laughing—or guilty because they cannot.
And for the one who simply wants somewhere they can say:
“I miss them.”
What the Gathering Includes
This is more than a talk about grief.
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts is designed as an experience participants can enter into—not simply sit through.
Michelle weaves together teaching, guided moments of remembrance, Storybrook practices, and thoughtful ways to help people name what the holidays have become since their loss. Participants may be invited to consider traditions that no longer fit, prepare for difficult moments before they arrive, recognize what they need from others, and find meaningful ways to include the person they miss in the season ahead.
Some of the most powerful moments are often the simplest ones—an unexpected question, a familiar memory, a symbolic practice, or a moment that gives someone permission to celebrate differently this year.
And throughout the gathering, attention returns to the person who is being missed.
Who they were.
What made them them.
What they brought into Christmas.
What is still worth remembering.
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts does not ask people to choose between sorrow and celebration.
It helps them discover how both can have a place at the table.
For Churches and Community Organizations
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts is designed as a special seasonal event that churches and community organizations can host for their congregation and surrounding community.
It can work well as a holiday outreach, grief or care-ministry event, senior-adult gathering, women’s or community event, or a special evening for anyone who may be struggling with loss during the season.
Storybrook provides the program and presentation. Host organizations provide the gathering space and help invite the community.
The event can be adapted to fit the size and needs of the group.
A Note From Michelle
The holidays can be beautiful and hard at the very same time. I know that personally.
After my mom died, Christmas did not simply become a season I needed to “get through.” So many little things carried her with them.
My mom loved Christmas, and she loved taking care of people through it. She remembered everybody’s favorite food. One person wanted turkey, another ham, another pumpkin pie. Even the pickiest person in the family had something on the table that was there because Mom remembered.
When she came to my house, she arrived with her arms full—presents, cookies, dishes she had made, and whatever else she thought someone might need. Then she kept going. Cooking. Cleaning. Visiting. Giving.
She rarely sat down. I cannot tell you how many times we said, “Mom, please sit down.”
After she was gone, I came across an idea for a little Christmas lantern with a tiny chair inside it. It was meant to represent the place of someone who was no longer here. I made one for my mom. And every time I looked at that little chair, it brought back so much more than absence. It reminded me of the way she showed love.
The meals she prepared. The details she remembered. The way she noticed what each person liked. The way she arrived carrying more than anyone expected and kept giving until everything felt special.
That tiny chair became a reminder that sometimes the people we miss are still woven into the season in ways we can choose to notice. Remembering does not always have to mean sitting quietly and thinking about the person we miss, although sometimes that is exactly what we need.
Sometimes remembering looks like making something.
Cooking their recipe.
Playing their favorite Christmas song.
Changing an old tradition or beginning a new one.
Hanging something on the tree that tells a story only your family fully understands.
Laughing about something they always did.
Finding a way to carry a piece of who they were into a season that feels different without them.
There is no single right way to do this.
Thanksgiving and Christmas after a death can be genuinely hard. You may enjoy part of the day and cry later. You may want the traditions you have always loved—or discover that you cannot bear them this year.
Twinkling Lights, Heavy Hearts is not about telling anyone how Christmas after loss is supposed to look. It is to help people find ways to enter the season as it actually is now.
For me, remembering looked like a tiny chair inside a lantern.
My hope is that you leave knowing there are beautiful ways to honor what still matters to you
- Michelle